It’s more about what they are not… than what they are

We’ve all seen them, the top tier achievers and the high-functioning A-types of our culture. Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Michael Jordan, Kobe, Tom Brady, Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, Joe Rogan, Zuck, and the list goes on. What is it about these people that seem to put them all in the highest levels of achievement above the rest of the population? Unfortunately the one thing that they do not have in common is generational privilege or luck. These men are all self-made in some way and all came from backgrounds that are not all that different from yours or mine. While Rogan says adamantly that he just got lucky and had good timing, I would argue that he is too close to his operations and it was his insatiable work ethic and constant curiosity that gave him his fame and fortune.

I call these people the “Extreme winners” and what they have is nothing outside what is possible for just about anyone. I have studied these men for many years and rather than telling you what makes them special, I’m going to discuss what they don’t have. Anyone can be one of these men but the top tier high functioning achievers in our world are more about what they don’t have than what they do have. If you really think about it, everyone has the same number of days in a year, hours in a day and virtually the same number of brain cells. No one is genetically superhuman. However, the top earners in our world do seem to be superhuman mentally. That’s why this feels doable and why I’m writing this.

Here are a few concepts I want you to think about. These are the things all these men don’t have that separated them from you. Once you see these things, just maybe you can begin cultivating a successful life for yourself.   

1. They are comfortable with not being liked

Let’s face it, these men are not always liked by the general public. Just look at the celebrities leaving Twitter right now only because Elon Musk is the new owner. How many times have you heard that Jeff Bezos is greedy, or the long battle Joe Rogen went through to not get canceled? Here’s the thing you have to understand and become comfortable with yourself if you ever want to be a top achiever- it’s okay if not everyone likes you.

I would say that worrying about what people think and what people say are the number one thing that holds most people back from the highest levels of success. Can you honestly say you don’t think about this or worry about it? Work to insulate yourself from this paralyzing premise. You must begin desensitizing yourself from harsh criticism and blame and don’t fear looking like a visionary or an Idealist.   

2. They are not following their passion

I know you have had a lifetime of advice on this but I hate to tell you this, these men are not following their passion. Following a passion is too easy for this level of achievement. A passion is cathartic and pushes you to explore your interests, like painting or helping people in need. If you want to achieve at the highest level, be the best at what you do, you need to reverse the dynamics of how you see passion. As Mark Cuban once said, “Never follow your passion, follow the work!”

You must now discover what will make you work. That one thing that will make you get out of bed in the morning because you can’t sleep from the excitement it brings you. A passion will get you up at 5:00 am, but a relentless need to work will cause you to go days without sleep and force you to try and catch some sleep at the office. Musk lived for weeks at the Tesla plant catching catnaps on his office couch during the height of Tesla’s operations. Kobe was at the gym at 3:00 am every day all alone working to become the best ever. It’s true that these men love what they do and have a passion for it, but they are not “following” it, they are leading it!    

3. They don’t dream, they act

In my line of work I hear it every day. People tell me about their dreams and when I see them a year later, nothing. It’s all talk and no action. Even the ones that do act at some point generally never make it long. Being the best at what you do is not for the faint of heart. It requires being impervious to the kind of pain and pressure you were never taught about in school or by your parents. However it’s not only about acting on your dreams, it’s continuing to act and push forward when it’s all falling apart. This is where the difference is in the top earners and average people. You have to have a completely different mindset to continue working while everything around you is crashing down. Action is more than just creating action. You have to have the ability to keep acting even if all is lost.   

4. They aren’t afraid to risk greatly

A lot of people think the top tier earners in our world do not have the risk gene or that they are predisposed to bold actions others are not willing to do. However, everyone feels the pressure and stress of risk. The top earners have just learned to manage their risk. They work hard to make calculated decisions and take a very long time to go back on a decision.

Generally you will find that people who have achieved greatness have had greatness taken from them at one time or another. They have experience with grand losses and have learned how to stage a comeback. The reason what they do looks risky to most people is because most people have little experience with losing something and rallying back from it. They have spent most of their life in the safe zone and worry about losing. The top earners believe it’s still better to fail at greatness than to be great at mediocrity.

5. They can manage the pressure to reproduce grand results over and over

Getting to the top is not that hard but staying at the top is a whole different game. Having the mental toughness to continue to reproduce a successful result over and over is not for the weak. I would say that the reason most people fall from grace is the fear component of reproducing that amazing result again.

Imagine you are a basketball player and you delivered the clutch pressure shot to win the game. Now everyone around you, the team, your family, your fan, are all depending on you to do it again next week. For several days people are congratulating you and looking to you to recreate that amazing performance again against a rival team. They are putting immense pressure on you to bring the win again. Can you handle that pressure and manage it in a way that doesn’t interfere with your focus? For a lot of people it’s just too much and they end up choking in the end. It happens every day in business.     

6. They break the rules

Can you honestly say you’ve never seen a high profile figure that hasn’t been caught up in a scandal or some public lapses in personal judgment? Here’s the thing, – they are used to breaking the rules. That’s how they got famous to begin with. To be extraordinary, you must not be ordinary. The reason why most people do not know your name is because you’ve stayed safe and followed all the rules. I’m not saying that you have to be a criminal but if you look deep into their past, they are very well known for going against the old order.

7. They do not have a lottery mindset

If you watch the next time the Power Ball is in the multi millions, you will see that very rich people do not buy lottery tickets. You might be saying, “Yeah, they are rich, they don’t have to.” Exactly! Very wealthy people know how to recreate they’re wealth and never depend on luck. Luck is a poverty mentality.

Rich people do not have the lottery mindset. They know that work and earnings are the secret to getting wealthy so they avoid the idea of depending on luck and good fortune to make their money.

8. They do not act on fear or impulse

The top earners have learned how to control emotion. We all have emotions and fears but the difference is that the most successful have developed ways to control their emotions and fears during the most stressful times in their life. They stay cool, calm, and in full control at all times. They have also learned that fear and high emotions do very little to resolve an issue. Why add unnecessary stress and pressure to an already high pressure situation?

This is far easier said than done of course. It takes practice and self-awareness but above all, it takes trust in one’s self. I would say that the number one reason most people can’t handle exceedingly high pressure situations is a lack of self-trust. They feel like they failed and the weight of that failure consumes them to the point that they freeze up in a moment they need to be their best.

9. They say “no”… a lot!

You will never become the most significant figure in our culture if you cannot learn to say no to nearly everything coming your way. This is the dogged pursuit of getting what you want. You have to prioritize your time effectively to the most important things in your life. As you become more successful, you will be tapped for more of your time by many more people. You have to learn to say no to everything that does not benefit your cause. Saying no to people is the ultimate in ruthlessness. You will be seen as uncaring and not sympathetic. You will look greedy but you have to insulate yourself from this outside pressure to give more of your time.

Again, this is much easier said than done. All of the above is easier said than done. However, anyone can do it. There are no special traits needed to become a top tier earner. You don’t have to be a high-functioning psychopath to be the best in the world. I think that you will see that the top earners are more about what they are not rather than what they actually are. Learn to remove these things from your life and recreate yourself from your raw nature. You will also find that doing less and becoming more of yourself will be the hardest work you will ever do. Developing a steely mind for success and just listening to your internal compass will be more work than you’ve ever done.

But I guarantee you, if you can do this, the rewards will be so f@cking good!